Counselling Services

Don’t Laugh.

Let others know that jokes and comments based on race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, ethnicity, etc. are not funny.

Speak Up!

If you feel safe, let those who behave disrespectfully know that you don’t appreciate it.

Challenge Bystanders.

If you feel safe, let spectators know they are not helping.

Don’t “Get Even”.

Responding to meanness with meanness won’t help matters.

Be a Friend.

Show kindness and support to the targets of negative behaviour.

Be Non-Judgmental.

Demonstrate to others that you are willing to listen and talk with an open mind.

Be Inclusive.

Ensure that your language and behaviour are respectful to all people.

Be Self-Reflective.

Be aware of your own prejudices and work to change them.

Take Action!

Speak out against bias in your community and in the media (AHS Community Helpers Program, 2020).

Listen.

Your friend has told you for a reason. They trust you to be there, so listen and hear what they're saying.

Don't Freak Out.

Suicidality has a lot of stigma around it, but it's something people deal with a lot. Often all we need is for someone to listen while we talk through suicidality the same way they'd listen to any other serious topic. Sometimes your friend might have coping mechanisms that feel scary to you, like substance use or self-injury. Talk to your friend about how they can do the things that work for them more safely: not drinking and driving, having trusted people with them, not sharing needles, being mindful of where and how they self-injure, etc.

Understand Their Circumstances.

We’re often told that suicidality is irrational. It isn’t — when your material conditions are really bad, suicidality can feel as logical as jumping from a burning building. Understand what got a person to this place and understand why they might not want to live. Ask your friend questions: What would be helpful from you? Do they want to talk about what’s going on or would they prefer a distraction? Someone to sit with quietly? Something else? Your friend might not know, and that’s okay too.

Put Blame Where It Belongs.

Society treats trans people badly. Remind your friend that what happened to them is unjust and that society is messed up. If your friend is dealing with bigotry or rejection, be their champion. Now is not the time to play devil’s advocate for why their parents might misgender them or tell your friend that their transition is hard for their partner too.

Provide Resources. 

Support your friend by providing them with resources, such as the ones below. 

Take Care of Yourself.

Find support for yourself, whether it's family, friends, or a professional. Remember what is and isn't your job; You can be there for your friend, but you can't necessarily change how they're feeling or what they need to do.

Respect Your Friend's Privacy.

It can be tempting to go ask another friend or family member for help. Doing this makes it harder for your friend to confide in you. Only bring other people in if your friend is comfortable with it.

Train Yourself.

Familiarize yourself with local resources. Ask questions when you're unsure. Attend training in your local area (Trans Lifeline, 2020).